I recently was speaking with an ex-girlfriend; She was the first girl I had ever told about my autism, She was the first I had told about my compression clothing, and the only I have ever told about my wearing tights.
Despite the fact I occassionally felt that some aspects of my AS were hard for her to accept, She has always been accomidating, kind, and understanding. She always wanted to make sure I was comfortable, and alright in situations.
I was the one who broke things off with her, I felt like I was holding her back. She had so much potential, and I thought she was backpedaling for me....but that's neither here, nor there.
Inspite of everything, we have managed to stay decently good friends. When I had origonally told her about my compression clothing, it piqued her interest. While for slightly different reasons, She also hated the feeling of loose clothing, and loved the tight compression afforded her by Leotards, swimsuits, tights, and even camisols;
so when I told her I had a divesuit in which I occasionally slept, she requested imediately to try it on. I agreed to let her, she did, we had a good laugh and she put it back. We talked about it a few times throughout our regretably short relationship, and she would comment about it, and even nicknamed it my "Yummy" while my other compression clothing she referred to as my "Stretchy."
Last week I was talking to her, and I got up the nerve to tell her about my Zentai (something about which, despite the comfort it offers me, I still feel a little awkward) When I told her, she thought it was great; She told me she thought my divesuit was very comfortable, and would love to see, and even try on the Zentai, If I would let her.
Over the next week, I showed her a picture of me in it, (which I had taken to try to make myself feel more comfortable) and then even showed the suit to her (though not while wearing it) She was very encouraging, and comfortable with it; She told me if she had one, she would wear it openly, and thought it seemed like it would be very comfortable. I told her it was very comfortable, but I was a little uncomfortable about admitting to wearing the suit, given it's often sexual connotations. She encouraged me to not be ashamed, told me she knew me well enough to know my motives for it, and even suggested she and I have a "Yummy-movie night" where I would wear my suit, and she a Unitard, or other such lycra garment, to help me feel more comfortable.
I haven't yet taken her up on her offer, but I must admit, being that physicaly comfortable, while with someone, with whom I could feel that emotionally comfortable, does hold some appeal to me. I would very much like to have that experience, and perhaps put some of my apprehensoins to rest, and hopefully, feel more comfortable with myself, and my situation.
Showing posts with label tights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tights. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Monday, December 28, 2009
Tights, take three: more of my history before my diagnosis.
Yes, we are delving deeper into the story regarding my wearing tight clothing; I know it's getting redundant, but it feels good after all these years to talk about it, and I really want to make sure that people know that having this compulsion can be a perfectly natural part of having an ASD; it doesn't make you gay, or unusual, it makes you autistic, or means you have sensory issues, I just don't want people to experience the shame and discomfort I experienced growing up if they don't have to.
I have always been compelled to wear tight fitting clothing, though I never knew why, I can remember as a boy of age 4 seeing my female cousin in a leotard, and being overcome with a desire to wear one, I was ashamed and didn't understand why I had the desire, (There but for an early diagnosis go I) I spent the rest of my childhood with the desire, My sisters swimsuits, leotards, tights, stretchpants, figureskating costumes, if it was anything tight, I was drawn toward it; I never acted on the compulsion, and never told anyone about it.
In my Teen years, This developed into a paraphelia, I would steal leotards, tights and things form laundry hampers, and even closets and dressers. I would wrap myself from head to toe in Tights and nylons; but not knowing why I was initially drawn to such things, and being a Christian, this always seemed somehow extremely dirty.
I knew I was not a transvestite, nor was I gay; I wasn't appealing because it was Taboo, or because they were women's clothing, It was appealing because tight clothing would give me a feeling of compression, help me with establishing myself in space, and providing the deep touch theraputic bennifits I craved, but didn't understand why; Therefore, the only rational explination for me, was it must be dirty.
It was durring my teen years, while endulging this phellia online that I discovered Zentai. I wanted so desperately to own one, but I NEVER figured I would. Once I was diagnosed with AS, I was suddenly free from personal , mental oppression to try all kinds of new things, I first raided a box of my sisters old clothing at my parents house, gathering up Leotards, tights, tight shirts, and long gloves. I wore them around the house whenever I was alone, and even slept in them, which proved VERY effective at helping with my insomnia.
Next, I bought compression clothing, which had also previousely felt oddly "Kinky" I still felt wierd buying it in the sporting goods store. (Despite my very fit physicality) I then bought a divesuit,. Following this, I left for School for a few months; Upon my return, I bought my own, new tights online, and then I remembered the full body zentai, and realized I too was now free to purchase one.
It took a little time for all of these things to not feel sexual, after my years of building them up to be some kind of inherently sexual and kinky things, but I am completely comfortable wearing most of these things without feeling odd or sexually arroused at all by them.
I have not worn leotards or cloves since that initial experience, and I think it would still feel odd. I don't think it should though, They did offer a nice feeling of compression accross my torso. I just don't like the wide cut at the neck, and they still feel very effeminate to me.
I do not find any of things to be sexual. I found them to be sexual in my teen years, simply because of shame. The fact that I didn't understand either sex, or my infatuation particularly well, meant they both carried that same awkward, "Tabboo" dirty feeling, and they got all mixed up together while I was trying to make sense of them, after all, there are plenty of people who do find them sexual; and it seemed only rational to me, from a logical, objective viewpoint, that I MUST find them arousing as well. In retrospect I can see that this was not the case, and it was simply me, trying to justify emotions and compultions to myself which were diffucult for me to understand not having all the facts at the time.
BAck to the primary topic:
I have mentioned before, that the feeling of Zentai is unique; it's not like having tights on all over your body. It isn't as constrictive (unfortunately) and it lacks the feeling of pressure that Compression clothing, and Leotards provide; Though I think if I buy one a little thinner, I might have better luck with the compression. They do however provide a feeling of all over, consistant, tactile sensation, and do an amazing job of muting out the world. I highly recommend them to anybody with sensory integration issues, or ASD.
I have always been compelled to wear tight fitting clothing, though I never knew why, I can remember as a boy of age 4 seeing my female cousin in a leotard, and being overcome with a desire to wear one, I was ashamed and didn't understand why I had the desire, (There but for an early diagnosis go I) I spent the rest of my childhood with the desire, My sisters swimsuits, leotards, tights, stretchpants, figureskating costumes, if it was anything tight, I was drawn toward it; I never acted on the compulsion, and never told anyone about it.
In my Teen years, This developed into a paraphelia, I would steal leotards, tights and things form laundry hampers, and even closets and dressers. I would wrap myself from head to toe in Tights and nylons; but not knowing why I was initially drawn to such things, and being a Christian, this always seemed somehow extremely dirty.
I knew I was not a transvestite, nor was I gay; I wasn't appealing because it was Taboo, or because they were women's clothing, It was appealing because tight clothing would give me a feeling of compression, help me with establishing myself in space, and providing the deep touch theraputic bennifits I craved, but didn't understand why; Therefore, the only rational explination for me, was it must be dirty.
It was durring my teen years, while endulging this phellia online that I discovered Zentai. I wanted so desperately to own one, but I NEVER figured I would. Once I was diagnosed with AS, I was suddenly free from personal , mental oppression to try all kinds of new things, I first raided a box of my sisters old clothing at my parents house, gathering up Leotards, tights, tight shirts, and long gloves. I wore them around the house whenever I was alone, and even slept in them, which proved VERY effective at helping with my insomnia.
Next, I bought compression clothing, which had also previousely felt oddly "Kinky" I still felt wierd buying it in the sporting goods store. (Despite my very fit physicality) I then bought a divesuit,. Following this, I left for School for a few months; Upon my return, I bought my own, new tights online, and then I remembered the full body zentai, and realized I too was now free to purchase one.
It took a little time for all of these things to not feel sexual, after my years of building them up to be some kind of inherently sexual and kinky things, but I am completely comfortable wearing most of these things without feeling odd or sexually arroused at all by them.
I have not worn leotards or cloves since that initial experience, and I think it would still feel odd. I don't think it should though, They did offer a nice feeling of compression accross my torso. I just don't like the wide cut at the neck, and they still feel very effeminate to me.
I do not find any of things to be sexual. I found them to be sexual in my teen years, simply because of shame. The fact that I didn't understand either sex, or my infatuation particularly well, meant they both carried that same awkward, "Tabboo" dirty feeling, and they got all mixed up together while I was trying to make sense of them, after all, there are plenty of people who do find them sexual; and it seemed only rational to me, from a logical, objective viewpoint, that I MUST find them arousing as well. In retrospect I can see that this was not the case, and it was simply me, trying to justify emotions and compultions to myself which were diffucult for me to understand not having all the facts at the time.
BAck to the primary topic:
I have mentioned before, that the feeling of Zentai is unique; it's not like having tights on all over your body. It isn't as constrictive (unfortunately) and it lacks the feeling of pressure that Compression clothing, and Leotards provide; Though I think if I buy one a little thinner, I might have better luck with the compression. They do however provide a feeling of all over, consistant, tactile sensation, and do an amazing job of muting out the world. I highly recommend them to anybody with sensory integration issues, or ASD.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Dealing with Tactile issues, and discussing Zentai
Zentai is the name of stretchy, tight, bodysuits that cover you entirely, from head to foot.
They are usually Considered fetishwear, but are also worn for other reasons, comfort, costumes, and for something which completely eludes me, Team Pride at sporting events sporting events. However another reason is for Deep Touch Pressure Therapy, and people with tactile issues.
I bought one two days ago, The feeling is amazing.
It provides gentle consistant pressure over the entire body, even the hands and feet. I would suggest getting one with the zipper inside-out, that way you can turn the suit inside-out, and the seams will be on the outside, and therefore won't be bothersome - if you, like I, have issues with the seams on clothing.
I have always worn my shirts, socks, and underwear inside out, or cut the tags out of everything which cannot be turned insite out.
While we're on the subject, I have started wearing only "comfort soft" underwear. No Tags, no seams, and no exposed elastic. So Nice.
I don't know how many people actually notice those things, but I definately do. Comfort soft underwear seems to be MADE for people with ASD's and Sensory issues.
Back to Zentai, It's amazing how calming it is wearing one of these suits. all other physical stimuli are completely drowned out, just like wearing Compression clothing, or Tights, only without the distraction of waistebands, and shirts riding up; plus, as an added bonus. you get coverage over the hands, feet, and head. This might be too much for people with claustrophobia, but I find it very nice.
For people whom might find a complete suit claustrophopic, there are dance stores online which sell Unitards, with hands and feet, but no head coverings. Also, you can get them with exposed hands, or obviousely, with no hands, feet, or head covering. These are also often called Catsuits.
Just as with Zentai, these products are often worn for Fetish/Sexual reasons, and you may need to make yourself look past that, and remember that this is for non-sexual, medical porposes.
Another product used for tactile, and deep pressure therapy is something called a "Silly-Sack" it's a lycra/spandex square sack with a zipper along the back. The same company which makes Silly-Sacks, also makes tight, spandex/lycra blankets, and swings. All these products are for deep touch therapy, and for people who have a hard time establishing their place in space.
I have a hard time with spacial management. I lean against walls whenever I can to feel the pressure, and I sleep on couches so more of my body is being touched at a time.
Personally, I have never used SillySacks, Swings, Or Sheets, but I can understand the appeal. I prefer more mobile applications of the theraputic methods.
Compression clothing, Unitards, tights, divesuits, and now zentai. I can wear these under my clothing, and mute out the tactile sensory input from my clothing, and provide the pressure I need to help me focus, and get through my day.
If I slept on beds, I would definately buy one of those pressure sheets, They sound really nice, and effective.
My advice is based on personal experience, and what I recommend may not work for you, and your specific situation, but it may be worth a try. I reccommend starting out with something inexpensive. Maybe a pair of soft tights, to give it a try. If you find that tights are effective for you, you may try something else.
WARNING: If you are male, and have a problem with wearing tights, but give it a try anyway, YOU WILL BE UNCOMFORTABLE. Trust me; give it time wearing them in your home, to become comfortable with just the idea of wearing tights. Once you get past the mental discomfort, you will be able to focus on the physical.
Questions can be e-mailed to me; I will not publish your emails, but I would be happy to help with any questions you may have.
They are usually Considered fetishwear, but are also worn for other reasons, comfort, costumes, and for something which completely eludes me, Team Pride at sporting events sporting events. However another reason is for Deep Touch Pressure Therapy, and people with tactile issues.
I bought one two days ago, The feeling is amazing.
It provides gentle consistant pressure over the entire body, even the hands and feet. I would suggest getting one with the zipper inside-out, that way you can turn the suit inside-out, and the seams will be on the outside, and therefore won't be bothersome - if you, like I, have issues with the seams on clothing.
I have always worn my shirts, socks, and underwear inside out, or cut the tags out of everything which cannot be turned insite out.
While we're on the subject, I have started wearing only "comfort soft" underwear. No Tags, no seams, and no exposed elastic. So Nice.
I don't know how many people actually notice those things, but I definately do. Comfort soft underwear seems to be MADE for people with ASD's and Sensory issues.
Back to Zentai, It's amazing how calming it is wearing one of these suits. all other physical stimuli are completely drowned out, just like wearing Compression clothing, or Tights, only without the distraction of waistebands, and shirts riding up; plus, as an added bonus. you get coverage over the hands, feet, and head. This might be too much for people with claustrophobia, but I find it very nice.
For people whom might find a complete suit claustrophopic, there are dance stores online which sell Unitards, with hands and feet, but no head coverings. Also, you can get them with exposed hands, or obviousely, with no hands, feet, or head covering. These are also often called Catsuits.
Just as with Zentai, these products are often worn for Fetish/Sexual reasons, and you may need to make yourself look past that, and remember that this is for non-sexual, medical porposes.
Another product used for tactile, and deep pressure therapy is something called a "Silly-Sack" it's a lycra/spandex square sack with a zipper along the back. The same company which makes Silly-Sacks, also makes tight, spandex/lycra blankets, and swings. All these products are for deep touch therapy, and for people who have a hard time establishing their place in space.
I have a hard time with spacial management. I lean against walls whenever I can to feel the pressure, and I sleep on couches so more of my body is being touched at a time.
Personally, I have never used SillySacks, Swings, Or Sheets, but I can understand the appeal. I prefer more mobile applications of the theraputic methods.
Compression clothing, Unitards, tights, divesuits, and now zentai. I can wear these under my clothing, and mute out the tactile sensory input from my clothing, and provide the pressure I need to help me focus, and get through my day.
If I slept on beds, I would definately buy one of those pressure sheets, They sound really nice, and effective.
My advice is based on personal experience, and what I recommend may not work for you, and your specific situation, but it may be worth a try. I reccommend starting out with something inexpensive. Maybe a pair of soft tights, to give it a try. If you find that tights are effective for you, you may try something else.
WARNING: If you are male, and have a problem with wearing tights, but give it a try anyway, YOU WILL BE UNCOMFORTABLE. Trust me; give it time wearing them in your home, to become comfortable with just the idea of wearing tights. Once you get past the mental discomfort, you will be able to focus on the physical.
Questions can be e-mailed to me; I will not publish your emails, but I would be happy to help with any questions you may have.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tights: Take two.
Continuing with the current personal stories:
I bought a couple of new pairs of tights on sale a couple of days ago. They are made of Microfiber and they are AMAZING at drowning out sensory input. I have already found some Microfiber compression shirts online and can't wait until they get here.
-I would just like to take this oppertunity to reafirm that yes, I am in fact straight, and I achive no sexual satisfaction from wearing women's clothing. It is simply the most effective way I have found of working through my life as someone with an ASD.-
The tights have a brief at the top which is made of nylon, I guess it's a control top, but ionicly it stretches more than the microfiber, however this allows for extra comfort in the "Crotch area;" they have flat seams (very important for somebody like me) they are quiet soft, and are VERY tight all the way up. They also stay up, and in place without any problem, which is SO nice.
Every part stays snug and doesn't move at all, all day long.
as long as I am able, I will never buy another brand or fabric.
I'm really hoping my shirts are as comfortable. I usually seem to have bad luck with this sort of thing; there is always something slightly off, which with me is always a huge deal. I hate not being able to feel the fabric, see how tightly it will fit, how long the cut is vs. how tight it is. I really hope they work. I'm not made of money, and these particular shirts were really reasonably priced so I can buy more and spend less, which is obviousely a good thing.
In a similar story:
I have recently been in contact with another person living with Aspergers; She has many of my same issues, and copes with them the same ways I do. She suggested I try somethng called Zentai*. I am a little "iffy" to say the least. Though I must admit the idea does sound very appealing from a sensory point of view. She told me I need to try to look past the stigma, and look at it the same way I look at wearing tights. I am really considering it. Based on what she has told me, I believe it would be very comfortable and relaxing for me. No waistebands, wrist bands, collars, or mis matched materials, I also found out you can get them with individual toes. I know it may sound weird to you, but it sounds like another sensory issue resolved to me. I do worry about the zippers., I worry they will be distracting, but I suppose, that just like the new shirts, I won't know until I try.
I have looked into it, and have found some suits quite cheap online; though I may hold out to try to find some made of microfiber now, I'm not sure, It sounds so nice, and I may strike while the iron's hot (and the bank account has the finances) I am blowing a lot of money on sensory attire this week, and finances really aren't one of my strong suits. But that's another post, for another time.
Thank you for reading, I hope you found the post informative. Comments, suggestions, or questions are as always welcomed.
*For those who don't know, Zentai is the covering of the whole body, head to foot, in stretchy material; most often spandex or lycra, and is often done for sexual/fetish purposes.
I bought a couple of new pairs of tights on sale a couple of days ago. They are made of Microfiber and they are AMAZING at drowning out sensory input. I have already found some Microfiber compression shirts online and can't wait until they get here.
-I would just like to take this oppertunity to reafirm that yes, I am in fact straight, and I achive no sexual satisfaction from wearing women's clothing. It is simply the most effective way I have found of working through my life as someone with an ASD.-
The tights have a brief at the top which is made of nylon, I guess it's a control top, but ionicly it stretches more than the microfiber, however this allows for extra comfort in the "Crotch area;" they have flat seams (very important for somebody like me) they are quiet soft, and are VERY tight all the way up. They also stay up, and in place without any problem, which is SO nice.
Every part stays snug and doesn't move at all, all day long.
as long as I am able, I will never buy another brand or fabric.
I'm really hoping my shirts are as comfortable. I usually seem to have bad luck with this sort of thing; there is always something slightly off, which with me is always a huge deal. I hate not being able to feel the fabric, see how tightly it will fit, how long the cut is vs. how tight it is. I really hope they work. I'm not made of money, and these particular shirts were really reasonably priced so I can buy more and spend less, which is obviousely a good thing.
In a similar story:
I have recently been in contact with another person living with Aspergers; She has many of my same issues, and copes with them the same ways I do. She suggested I try somethng called Zentai*. I am a little "iffy" to say the least. Though I must admit the idea does sound very appealing from a sensory point of view. She told me I need to try to look past the stigma, and look at it the same way I look at wearing tights. I am really considering it. Based on what she has told me, I believe it would be very comfortable and relaxing for me. No waistebands, wrist bands, collars, or mis matched materials, I also found out you can get them with individual toes. I know it may sound weird to you, but it sounds like another sensory issue resolved to me. I do worry about the zippers., I worry they will be distracting, but I suppose, that just like the new shirts, I won't know until I try.
I have looked into it, and have found some suits quite cheap online; though I may hold out to try to find some made of microfiber now, I'm not sure, It sounds so nice, and I may strike while the iron's hot (and the bank account has the finances) I am blowing a lot of money on sensory attire this week, and finances really aren't one of my strong suits. But that's another post, for another time.
Thank you for reading, I hope you found the post informative. Comments, suggestions, or questions are as always welcomed.
*For those who don't know, Zentai is the covering of the whole body, head to foot, in stretchy material; most often spandex or lycra, and is often done for sexual/fetish purposes.
Family life.
I guess It's about time to start updating with current experiences, Huh?
I have been visiting family lately. A horrible experience unto its self. I don't do well in any social gathering, and even family is no exception. The noise, the close quarters, the neices and nephews screaming and making trouble. it's a complete mess.
Fortunately, thanks to my insomnia, I do get a few hours of piece at night, somewhere between 11:00pm and 6:30am I find time to think and unwind.
don't get me wrong, I love my family very much, just not when they're all together at once.Today there was so much screaming, and I managed to forget my Noise Cancelling headphones back at home. I was sitting around covering my ears and rocking most of the day.
I've only had my diagnosis for a year now, and my family is still having a hard time adjusting, though they all agreed that covering my ears and rocking is far preferable to shouting and breaking things. (as mentioned Here:
Fortunately I was in my compression clothing underneith my clothes. It helped a lot. It's amazing what just cutting out the sensory agrivation of touch can do. but I still had a really hard time. Now it's late at night and the only sounds are the heater fan, the wall clock in the next room, and my computer fan.
Earlier things got so bad that I started ticking and jerking. Once so badly and violently I knocked my external harddrive off the table and broke it; in addition to losing all my software, files, contacts, and programes, the incident, of corse made things even worse. It's a realmess when you tick and break something, which causes you to tick even more.....go figure.
Tomorrow Is another day, and I will be helping unload trucks at the family owned Warehouse. That will most assuredly be a "fun" experience; it always is.
Regarding my compression clothing (meaning Tights and Compression shirts,) and the Family setting: In case anybody was currious, Only my mother knows about my compression clothing, and I would like to keep it that way. I may be physically comfortible in it, but I still am quite uncomfortable with the idea of it.
Besides, I think of it sort of like underwear, you wouldn't tell everyone you know about that for no reason, right? Granted, I wouldn't feel compelled to tell my mother about my underwear, but you get what I'm saying.
Besides, the reasons my mother knows are (1) She has always been supportive of me and has helped me through these strange times; and (2) I don't have a credit card, and she is kind enough to let me use hers to order my wears online.
I have been visiting family lately. A horrible experience unto its self. I don't do well in any social gathering, and even family is no exception. The noise, the close quarters, the neices and nephews screaming and making trouble. it's a complete mess.
Fortunately, thanks to my insomnia, I do get a few hours of piece at night, somewhere between 11:00pm and 6:30am I find time to think and unwind.
don't get me wrong, I love my family very much, just not when they're all together at once.Today there was so much screaming, and I managed to forget my Noise Cancelling headphones back at home. I was sitting around covering my ears and rocking most of the day.
I've only had my diagnosis for a year now, and my family is still having a hard time adjusting, though they all agreed that covering my ears and rocking is far preferable to shouting and breaking things. (as mentioned Here:
Fortunately I was in my compression clothing underneith my clothes. It helped a lot. It's amazing what just cutting out the sensory agrivation of touch can do. but I still had a really hard time. Now it's late at night and the only sounds are the heater fan, the wall clock in the next room, and my computer fan.
Earlier things got so bad that I started ticking and jerking. Once so badly and violently I knocked my external harddrive off the table and broke it; in addition to losing all my software, files, contacts, and programes, the incident, of corse made things even worse. It's a realmess when you tick and break something, which causes you to tick even more.....go figure.
Tomorrow Is another day, and I will be helping unload trucks at the family owned Warehouse. That will most assuredly be a "fun" experience; it always is.
Regarding my compression clothing (meaning Tights and Compression shirts,) and the Family setting: In case anybody was currious, Only my mother knows about my compression clothing, and I would like to keep it that way. I may be physically comfortible in it, but I still am quite uncomfortable with the idea of it.
Besides, I think of it sort of like underwear, you wouldn't tell everyone you know about that for no reason, right? Granted, I wouldn't feel compelled to tell my mother about my underwear, but you get what I'm saying.
Besides, the reasons my mother knows are (1) She has always been supportive of me and has helped me through these strange times; and (2) I don't have a credit card, and she is kind enough to let me use hers to order my wears online.
Sensory overload: Take one.
Have you ever been in a grocery store, and closed your eyes and payed attention to all the sounds and noises? Imagine if you heard all of those things all the time.Have you ever payed attention to the way your clothing brushes across your skin? or the slight breeze caused by people walking past you? Have you ever noticed all the flashing lights around you?, from signs to Cell phones?
Now Imagine if you coould hear, feel, and see these things ALL THE TIME; have no filter. My mind doesn't block out the unimportant things. Before my diagnosis, I always wondered how people could function iwith so many noises all arround them, or miss things I heard so clearly.
(1) SOUNDS.
A few weeks ago, I went into a large hardware store with my father (not my favorite place ever) Though it wasn't too busy I was really getting overloaded with stimuli. My father asked how this was possible, I pointed out all the things I could hear, see and feel: The hum from the flourescent lights, the BEEP of items being rung up at the front of the store, the rattling of the loose A/C fan, the squeeky shopping cart a few isles over, the screaming child in the distance, the table saw in the lumber section, the bird in the rafters, footsteps on the concrete floor and the bad music playing throughout. and that was just the things I could HEAR; All the things bothering my other senses were piled on top of all of that.
As we were talking about all this, a Voice came over the loud speaker; that was all I could handle. Overload. My hands covered my ears, I began pacing, and mudderring to myself, shaking my head side to side, and periodicly flapping my hands.
My father was embarrassed, I was a wreck, and so glad when we finally made it to the car.-I don't know why I always follow my father into places like that. When it's anybody else I just wait in the car, but my dad, even though he knows what those types of places do to me, for some reason that's beyond me, always draggs me in, and for some reason, I go.
Sensory overload is a very big issue for me.
Some of the ways I cope with such things include wearing headphones, earpluggs, sound muting headphones, dark sunglasses, and of corse my compression shirts and tights. I can function pretty well when I use one or a combination of these methods. But even with all the right measures taken, sometimes, things still happen.
(2) Lights
I have a difficult time with bright, flourescent, or flashing lights. And they are EVERYWHERE.Police lights really mess me up. I will get completely overloaded just from glancing at police lights. Needless to say, I am a perfect driver. There are, of corse other AS qualities which play into that, but that's another topic, for another time. I was a wreck when that fad of flashing LED lights on Cell phones was so popular. (And I have a really hard time with cell phones anyway.) Flourescent lights are also particularly upsetting, the light they cast is litterally painful to me, Not to mention the buzzing sound they make.
(3) Touch
I feel everything. I have mentioned a few times already that I can feel my clothing on my skin. Much of my youth was spent shirtless, but I can also feel even the slightest breezes from fans, heaters or A/C, even the slight breeze caused by people walking past me. I like physical contact, but I am very selective about who can touch me, and will often get overloaded and even violent when someone not on my mental list makes physical contact with me.
Deep pressure (tights, compression clothing) is paramount. Ever since I discovered it, I have craved it. I do MUCH better, and feel so comfortable when I have it.
So what can you take from this post? That Las Vegas would not be my kind of town AT ALL!!!Seriousely though, I hope somebody finds this post to b usefull.- But even more Seriousely, I really do keep away from Casinos at all costs.
That's it for this post, I'm positive that this is a topic I will be discussing often in the future.
Now Imagine if you coould hear, feel, and see these things ALL THE TIME; have no filter. My mind doesn't block out the unimportant things. Before my diagnosis, I always wondered how people could function iwith so many noises all arround them, or miss things I heard so clearly.
(1) SOUNDS.
A few weeks ago, I went into a large hardware store with my father (not my favorite place ever) Though it wasn't too busy I was really getting overloaded with stimuli. My father asked how this was possible, I pointed out all the things I could hear, see and feel: The hum from the flourescent lights, the BEEP of items being rung up at the front of the store, the rattling of the loose A/C fan, the squeeky shopping cart a few isles over, the screaming child in the distance, the table saw in the lumber section, the bird in the rafters, footsteps on the concrete floor and the bad music playing throughout. and that was just the things I could HEAR; All the things bothering my other senses were piled on top of all of that.
As we were talking about all this, a Voice came over the loud speaker; that was all I could handle. Overload. My hands covered my ears, I began pacing, and mudderring to myself, shaking my head side to side, and periodicly flapping my hands.
My father was embarrassed, I was a wreck, and so glad when we finally made it to the car.-I don't know why I always follow my father into places like that. When it's anybody else I just wait in the car, but my dad, even though he knows what those types of places do to me, for some reason that's beyond me, always draggs me in, and for some reason, I go.
Sensory overload is a very big issue for me.
Some of the ways I cope with such things include wearing headphones, earpluggs, sound muting headphones, dark sunglasses, and of corse my compression shirts and tights. I can function pretty well when I use one or a combination of these methods. But even with all the right measures taken, sometimes, things still happen.
(2) Lights
I have a difficult time with bright, flourescent, or flashing lights. And they are EVERYWHERE.Police lights really mess me up. I will get completely overloaded just from glancing at police lights. Needless to say, I am a perfect driver. There are, of corse other AS qualities which play into that, but that's another topic, for another time. I was a wreck when that fad of flashing LED lights on Cell phones was so popular. (And I have a really hard time with cell phones anyway.) Flourescent lights are also particularly upsetting, the light they cast is litterally painful to me, Not to mention the buzzing sound they make.
(3) Touch
I feel everything. I have mentioned a few times already that I can feel my clothing on my skin. Much of my youth was spent shirtless, but I can also feel even the slightest breezes from fans, heaters or A/C, even the slight breeze caused by people walking past me. I like physical contact, but I am very selective about who can touch me, and will often get overloaded and even violent when someone not on my mental list makes physical contact with me.
Deep pressure (tights, compression clothing) is paramount. Ever since I discovered it, I have craved it. I do MUCH better, and feel so comfortable when I have it.
So what can you take from this post? That Las Vegas would not be my kind of town AT ALL!!!Seriousely though, I hope somebody finds this post to b usefull.- But even more Seriousely, I really do keep away from Casinos at all costs.
That's it for this post, I'm positive that this is a topic I will be discussing often in the future.
I wear Tights
I have decided to post this story first, because I think it needs to be put out the soonest. This was my biggest issue, and the one on which I have had the hardest time finding valuable information while doing my own research after my Diagnosis
_________________________________
I wear tights. Despite being a man, being very straight, and being quite conservative, I do in fact, wear tights. My reasoning is not that of a sexual nature however. As part of my Asperger's, I have sensory issues. I hear everything, I am very senssitive to colors and light, and I feel everything on my skin; as such, in addition to many other things, I feel my clothing moving across my skin constantly.
A couple of months ago I decided to start wearing Under Armor-like clothing. I still wear the shirts, but the pants I found very uncomfortable. The elastic openings at the waist and ankles supplied unwanted pressure, and I found I was more aware of them, then I was the pants I found so distracting. I feel like I should give you some history. Growing up, I was always drawn to tight clothing: Tights, leotards, spandex etc. and growing up in the 80's and 90's with 2 older sisters, it was everywhere. Unfortunately, being raised very conservative, and not knowing I had an ASD I never understood, and was always ashamed of this attraction, and therefore never acted on it. In my mind, such things were intended only for women.
It should be noted, that my parrents never said it was wrong, (not that I ever brought it to their attention) and in retrospect, I have no doubt they would have been very supportive.
Throughout my adolescence, this was consistantly a problem, and my misunderstanding and shame drove me to go the opposite route. I wore clothing FAR to large for me; I had a very hard time focusing, concentrating, I had frequent, often violent outbursts, and just in general, I was incredibly uncomfortable and unhappy.
Into my teen years, my misunderstanding, and humiliation naturally evolved into an awkward belief that my desire for tight pressure must be a kind of sexual fetish, as all my research into the subject seemed to point only that way. I was confused, I didn't know what to do about it; It didn't seem like a sexual fetish, though my misunderstanding did make it feel dirty and made me feel like some kind of freak. (even more that an undiagnosed ASD kid already does)
Then came my diagnosis of Asperger's. As I did more research, I came across Deep Pressure therapy. My world was wide open. I couldn't believe it. As I read, all the confusion, the shame, the misunderstanding, ALL OF IT, melted away.
Tight clothing mutes out the feeling of my clothing brushing accross my skin, wind blowing on me, and other physical stimuli to which I am so sensitive; I find these things overwhelming, and when I mute them out, I am far less likely to suffer sensory overload.
I now wear tights and compression shirts pretty much every day. I do still keep it a secret,( I don't wear them openly) but I am very focused, I have far less outbursts, I can cope with and tollerate stimuli much easier, and I am finally happy and comfortable.
If you have these same sensory issues, but feel strange wearing women's tights, http://www.welovecolors.com/ has "men's" tights for pretty cheap. I don't know what the difference is between men's and women's tights, but they are there. I used to own a pair, but they disapeared; they tend to run large, just for the heads up.
_________________________________
I wear tights. Despite being a man, being very straight, and being quite conservative, I do in fact, wear tights. My reasoning is not that of a sexual nature however. As part of my Asperger's, I have sensory issues. I hear everything, I am very senssitive to colors and light, and I feel everything on my skin; as such, in addition to many other things, I feel my clothing moving across my skin constantly.
A couple of months ago I decided to start wearing Under Armor-like clothing. I still wear the shirts, but the pants I found very uncomfortable. The elastic openings at the waist and ankles supplied unwanted pressure, and I found I was more aware of them, then I was the pants I found so distracting. I feel like I should give you some history. Growing up, I was always drawn to tight clothing: Tights, leotards, spandex etc. and growing up in the 80's and 90's with 2 older sisters, it was everywhere. Unfortunately, being raised very conservative, and not knowing I had an ASD I never understood, and was always ashamed of this attraction, and therefore never acted on it. In my mind, such things were intended only for women.
It should be noted, that my parrents never said it was wrong, (not that I ever brought it to their attention) and in retrospect, I have no doubt they would have been very supportive.
Throughout my adolescence, this was consistantly a problem, and my misunderstanding and shame drove me to go the opposite route. I wore clothing FAR to large for me; I had a very hard time focusing, concentrating, I had frequent, often violent outbursts, and just in general, I was incredibly uncomfortable and unhappy.
Into my teen years, my misunderstanding, and humiliation naturally evolved into an awkward belief that my desire for tight pressure must be a kind of sexual fetish, as all my research into the subject seemed to point only that way. I was confused, I didn't know what to do about it; It didn't seem like a sexual fetish, though my misunderstanding did make it feel dirty and made me feel like some kind of freak. (even more that an undiagnosed ASD kid already does)
Then came my diagnosis of Asperger's. As I did more research, I came across Deep Pressure therapy. My world was wide open. I couldn't believe it. As I read, all the confusion, the shame, the misunderstanding, ALL OF IT, melted away.
Tight clothing mutes out the feeling of my clothing brushing accross my skin, wind blowing on me, and other physical stimuli to which I am so sensitive; I find these things overwhelming, and when I mute them out, I am far less likely to suffer sensory overload.
I now wear tights and compression shirts pretty much every day. I do still keep it a secret,( I don't wear them openly) but I am very focused, I have far less outbursts, I can cope with and tollerate stimuli much easier, and I am finally happy and comfortable.
If you have these same sensory issues, but feel strange wearing women's tights, http://www.welovecolors.com/ has "men's" tights for pretty cheap. I don't know what the difference is between men's and women's tights, but they are there. I used to own a pair, but they disapeared; they tend to run large, just for the heads up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)