Facial ques.

I mentioned these in my last post, but I thought I would bring up another personal experience.
I am an artist, I draw and digitally paint for a living. Specifically, I am an illustrator. It affords me the oppertunity to work alone, and I love it.

I am accomplished in capturing the gesture of my subjects, clothing and textures, Everything works well. I have worked hard, and comitted myself to being the best I can be. (It really is the only viable skill I have)

However, my work always gets the same critique: Frequently the faces in my work are plain, Emotionless, expressionless. I can't seem to avoid doing this. Once it's pointed out to me, I usually change it, and it looks fine, but I don't see it initially. Much like the clutter in my house, It can be plain as day, and for some reason I won't notice it until it is pointed out to me.

This all ties in with real life. I have mentioned that growing up, I had a hard time recognizing varried expressions, but I have not mentioned that I was all but unable to emote through expression, myself. I also always spoke in a low monotone with little to no inflection.
I had to learn these things, they didn't come naturally to me.
Now I often overdo my facial ques and vocal inflection. People say I often seem exagerated, and even cartoonish.

I don't know which is worse, understated or over; but now it is just natural to me to be loud, with exagerated expressions. Ironicly, hate loud people. They iritate me a lot.

Either way, I suppose this post is a little pointless, but I am posting it in hopes that it'll least be something to which someone might be able to relate.

Where's your sense of humor

Let's discuss, if we may, Sense of humor. This is a topic once again, covered by many autistic parenting books, but rarely told froom the viewpoint of someone who has lived through it personally.
Growing up, I found things funny, I would laugh at certain things, and I would make up nonsense jokes, like any kid. However, Sarcasm was WAY over my head. Now, granted sarcasm is way over many children's heads, but I think usually by age 10 they've figured it out. I was having a hard timme at 12. I could never tell when people were being sarcastic. I had a hard time reading autible inflection, and had a hard time associating proper facial ques.
Further, I took everything very literally and at face value. This led to many embarrassing moments as a child.
Though I didn't like being "out of the loop" on jokes, I learned at a young age not to force laughter, and not to try to figure out what people were joking about out loud.
It was better to remain silent, seem disinterrested, and not react then it was to be made fun of for reacting inapropriately. People thought I was an odd loner-type, but it was better then them thinking I was an idiot.

At 13 I decided to put my foot down. I was tired of always being made fun of, I was going to get Sarcastic humor if it killed me. I started watching the MTV cartoon "Daria" Just about any time the title character said anything, it was sarcastic. I payed close attention to what she said, and tried to grasp the humor, always reminding myself to not take what she said seriousely. I then tried some of her jokes for myself and got positive reactions! It was odd, I was telling jokes I could barely grasp, and people seemed to love it. I continued my studying of the sarcastic, and slowly I caught on.
it goes back to what I have said in previous posts, regarding the way I feel like I don't quite fit in with humanity, Like I'm a third party observer, doing research on some sort of tribal people I don't quite understand.

Anyway,
Now sarcasm, and subtle humor are my favorite things in films and television. In fact, I seem more in tuned to it than other people. I am always on the lookout for it, and seem to see it more clearly than most. even when the joke rely's solely on facial expressions to communicae the humor, I can see it now.
I still have a hard time interprating sarcasm in real life, and consequently, opperate under the assumption that people are not being sarcastic. This makes me "Stand-offish" and people say I seem cold, and disinterrested. I figure the same principle applies now that did in my youth; It's better to be aloof that look like an idiot. Besides, I don't much like most people anyway, so if they think I'm a jerk, that's allright with me. I realize this tactic wouldn't work of most people. It's my understanding that people in general like to make new friends, Personally I don't.

It isn't that I go out of my way to be rude, I just don't feel comfortable around people, least of all new people.