Much has happened since my last post.
-Lets just discuss the most important: I got Married....and I got married to the ex-girlfriend mentioned in my last post.
Marriage has proven to be a far more difficult beast to tackle than I had ever anticipated. Due largely to my own issues, and the difficulties which accompany my AS.
I am not built for being close, I am not built for being around anybody for long periods of time.
I have a very loving, and understanding wife, but all the same, I don't imagine it's been any easier for her than for me. Aside from "the regular" issues, I understand accompany most newlyweds, there are key things which I know bother her:
-I am an insomniac, and she likes to sleep together (though not touching)
-I never stop moving/ticking, and it (understandably) gets taxing.
-I am an artist and writer, and we have differing views on MANY important issues under that umbrella.
-I don't make a lot of money. I'm fine with that, and live my life accordingly. My Wife, however, is not as okay with this.
-Our diets differ greatly. I, being a creature of habit, like the things I like, and don't like many of the things she likes. I usually eat little more than: Miniwheats for Breakfast, Peanut butter sandwiches for lunch; Dinner admittedly varies.
The Mrs. is a more health-conscious person, preferring low calorie, low fat, and lighter foods....though I'm afraid my unwillingness to compromise has made her alter her diet.
-I am VERY pragmatic. My logic is a source of tenuousness between us. I acknowledge facts and don't act or speak based off emotions, and she is fairly illogical.....as are most people, in my experience.
I'm trying to learn to be a better husband, while still trying to figure out how to be a better, more "Well adjusted" adult.
It's not easy. I don't ever feel comfortable, I feel on edge much of the time, Despite how very understanding, and accommodating she is, and how hard she works to make sure I'm comfortable, and tries to not let things about me bother her I know things are still bothering her.
-People may not understand it, but I'm too rational to NOT recognizer that it's an issue for her.
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Congratulations on your marriage. Everything you have stated here sounds similar to my husband. He also has Aspergers. We have been married for 12 years. I wanted to type out a few things to help you along but I have found that it would take a book to convey all that could be said. Remember to be patient with her. You have spent all of your life learning to adapt to the neuro typical world. She is just starting to live in the Aspie world. Take Care!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your response. It is very helpful; It's nice to know that there are people out there who are reading my blog and people whom can relate to what I am experiencing.
Delete-Thank you again, I'm trying hard to make my marriage work.