-Following the conversation-

I appologize for the long gap in posts (Not that anybody reads this blog anyway) but I have been a bit busy recently.


I recently had a conversation with my ex-girlfriend, She wanted explinations as to why I had broken things off.
I felt that she didn't take my Autism seriousely; she always told me that I used it as a crutch, and an excuse. This hurt me because it was clear how little she realized the struggle it is for me to come across as "normal." With anybody else, that is a compliment, but she had seen me out of the world, when things are more "Normal" for me. Which is VERY ABNORMAL for most people. She's seen me freak out in public, she knew the kinds of things we needed to avoid for me to function. She was always accomedating, but somehow, she still felt I was.....I don't know, maybe faking? or something, I'm not exactly sure what her thought was exactly....

The point of this post however is to focus on the conversation we had, and the fact that I couldn't follow a thing she was talking about; My mind wanders, even in situations which, I know are important and imotional, I was quoting movie lines, Counting, and quoting automotive facts in my head the whole time.
I was honest about what was on my mind: I told her what I was thinking, when she asked me. Turns out, this wasn't the best idea. Not that it really matters what was said since we had broken up, but I still didn't want to hurt her feelings.
-Unfortunately, I did.

I'm not tactfull, I'm not sensitive, I don't say the right things.....Don't get me wrong; I'm happy with myself, but sometimes, It would be nice to say the right thing. I have an extensive vocabulary, and I am quite elequent, but I just can't say the right words. Compound that by the fact that I was raised to be the type of person who "Keeps it in" and you have a mess of awkward conversations and insensitivity.