Tights, take three: more of my history before my diagnosis.

Yes, we are delving deeper into the story regarding my wearing tight clothing; I know it's getting redundant, but it feels good after all these years to talk about it, and I really want to make sure that people know that having this compulsion can be a perfectly natural part of having an ASD; it doesn't make you gay, or unusual, it makes you autistic, or means you have sensory issues, I just don't want people to experience the shame and discomfort I experienced growing up if they don't have to.

I have always been compelled to wear tight fitting clothing, though I never knew why, I can remember as a boy of age 4 seeing my female cousin in a leotard, and being overcome with a desire to wear one, I was ashamed and didn't understand why I had the desire, (There but for an early diagnosis go I) I spent the rest of my childhood with the desire, My sisters swimsuits, leotards, tights, stretchpants, figureskating costumes, if it was anything tight, I was drawn toward it; I never acted on the compulsion, and never told anyone about it.

In my Teen years, This developed into a paraphelia, I would steal leotards, tights and things form laundry hampers, and even closets and dressers. I would wrap myself from head to toe in Tights and nylons; but not knowing why I was initially drawn to such things, and being a Christian, this always seemed somehow extremely dirty.
I knew I was not a transvestite, nor was I gay; I wasn't appealing because it was Taboo, or because they were women's clothing, It was appealing because tight clothing would give me a feeling of compression, help me with establishing myself in space, and providing the deep touch theraputic bennifits I craved, but didn't understand why; Therefore, the only rational explination for me, was it must be dirty.

It was durring my teen years, while endulging this phellia online that I discovered Zentai. I wanted so desperately to own one, but I NEVER figured I would. Once I was diagnosed with AS, I was suddenly free from personal , mental oppression to try all kinds of new things, I first raided a box of my sisters old clothing at my parents house, gathering up Leotards, tights, tight shirts, and long gloves. I wore them around the house whenever I was alone, and even slept in them, which proved VERY effective at helping with my insomnia.

Next, I bought compression clothing, which had also previousely felt oddly "Kinky" I still felt wierd buying it in the sporting goods store. (Despite my very fit physicality) I then bought a divesuit,. Following this, I left for School for a few months; Upon my return, I bought my own, new tights online, and then I remembered the full body zentai, and realized I too was now free to purchase one.
It took a little time for all of these things to not feel sexual, after my years of building them up to be some kind of inherently sexual and kinky things, but I am completely comfortable wearing most of these things without feeling odd or sexually arroused at all by them.
I have not worn leotards or cloves since that initial experience, and I think it would still feel odd. I don't think it should though, They did offer a nice feeling of compression accross my torso. I just don't like the wide cut at the neck, and they still feel very effeminate to me.

I do not find any of things to be sexual. I found them to be sexual in my teen years, simply because of shame. The fact that I didn't understand either sex, or my infatuation particularly well, meant they both carried that same awkward, "Tabboo" dirty feeling, and they got all mixed up together while I was trying to make sense of them, after all, there are plenty of people who do find them sexual; and it seemed only rational to me, from a logical, objective viewpoint, that I MUST find them arousing as well. In retrospect I can see that this was not the case, and it was simply me, trying to justify emotions and compultions to myself which were diffucult for me to understand not having all the facts at the time.

BAck to the primary topic:
I have mentioned before, that the feeling of Zentai is unique; it's not like having tights on all over your body. It isn't as constrictive (unfortunately) and it lacks the feeling of pressure that Compression clothing, and Leotards provide; Though I think if I buy one a little thinner, I might have better luck with the compression. They do however provide a feeling of all over, consistant, tactile sensation, and do an amazing job of muting out the world. I highly recommend them to anybody with sensory integration issues, or ASD.